You might be wondering who I am. I am not a famous orator or master wordsmith. I was born in Visalia, spent my childhood here... my parents still live in the same house I grew up in... a little like The Wonder Years TV show, save the jerk older brother to pick on me. I had a sister! We went to church here, local schools, patronized local businesses and developed close relationships, added and lost family members here, went away to college got married and returned, had children of my own, jobs... a 'life'. My entire family ended up in educational careers. I'm a Baby Boomer. I watched with interest and reacted as the 60's unfolded. I was scared at times. The Cuban Missile Crisis, Kennedy being shot, Viet Nam, the Civil Rights riots and marches... all the big city stuff we watched with some level of detachment, being from a small town. We held on to each other and our faith that there was a God who had a bigger picture than we did.
My interest in spiritual things began when I was about 8 or 9. My parents got increasingly more involved in a home bible study group about that time. I saw the effect it had on them and it resonated in our home. I liked these people, for gown ups! I remember eavesdropping on their conversations about God and the Bible and developing an opinion as to what I thought of what they had to say. I am still developing that 'theology' to this day. I began reading bits of the Bible myself and listening more in church. I am also a musician. At 10 I started learning to play the guitar. The guitar became a big deal in my life as I got older.
This might sound like a pretty idyllic life. No abuse or deep drama. Doesn't it seem that the stuff that drives us really nuts happens in our head and heart? I was, and am, my own worst enemy. I continued to pursue a God awareness during this time, but then came the teen years. What a tight-rope walk that is! I discovered what disillusionment looks like. My dad was the principal of the junior high I went to. I was mugged once and had my life threatened twice because of that. I became aware of an increasing alarm of my own identity about that time... typical of teens. I got angry. And I can't leave out the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll of high school (remember the guitar from before?) and pretty much the entire decade of the 70's. I kind of felt I had been born a few years too late. I found that I wished I had been a part of the 60's psychedelic movement and the spiritual aspects of its hopes for a better world. I devoured books. I read stuff by and about Carlos Castaneda, Cosmic Consciousness, Poe, Asimov, Tolkein, Anthony Burgess, C.S. Lewis, Irving Stone, the Bible...I was curious to say the least.
The thing that I found that most of the people I read from and those I talked to was that everyone was searching. Only a handful seemed to have a certain something that came close to being what I would call Truth. It centered on living a hopeful and thankful life. Now, Hope and Thankfulness are really big ideas, spiritually speaking. I don't claim to be the final word on any subject, but there are some assumptions that are built in to Hope and Thanks. Spiritually speaking, it means that I have something to be hopeful about, something to be thankful for and a Direction to aim both. It is a choice we make every day. I don't always make the right choice. As a matter of fact, I usually don't... one of the main things I am thankful for is Purpose and Forgiveness.
What do you feel and think of when someone says Hope or Thanks? Do you have a sense of these in your spirit? That probably says a lot about who you are at your core and what type of experiences led you to where you are now. I am better as a person when I 'live' in that Hope/Thanks lifestyle. What about you? What do you think?
Mark Rogers (BA Music Ed., Fresno Pacific College) is a Visalia resident and musician. He is Pastor of Worship Arts at Crossroads Community Church and director of the Imagine Performing Arts Academy. He is married and has two beautiful children.
